Bettah With Buttah

Perhaps you, like I , have seen this commercial recently.

Bear with me as I make a few salient points.

Ahem....

1. If by using this product the following are guaranteed to happen...

a. I will have a total makeover complete with curly hair and ravishing red dress. b. My horrible, horrible eyesight will be cured. c. I will be able to do twirly moves without falling flat on my tookas.

then count me in, procure me a tub and I will slather it on forthwith.

IF, however, (and, pardon my pessimistic soul, my inclination is leaning more this way) the only thing that will happen by using this product is that I will just be using another form of fat that makes the ingesting of more baked good tastier, then I'll have to pass on this one. It's bettah with buttah.

2. Sorry for my sheltered existence, but who is Megan Mullally, and why is her agent trying to shoot her career dead? Do you really want to be remembered for being dragged around on a giant tub of fake buttery goodness. Seriously, the only faster way to kill one's career is to be on "Skating with the Stars" or its spin off "Surgery with the Stars".

3. Doesn't anyone else see that there is a nice young man obviously suffering a heart attack and no one is helping him? He must have been indulging in the wicked butter. Cheater.

4. This is really what is going on behind the scenes with all the faux butter stuff. It's a Paula Deen Conspiracy.